Dawn's Blog

 It's been a little while since I've posted on my blog, so I hope this is a good one. In fact, I've decided that my vocabulary is a bit lacking, so I'm going to make use of my favorite dinosaur, the Thesaurus.  I stole this idea from an episode of Friends where Joey uses a thesaurus to beef up a recommendation he is writing, just to give credit where it is due. So, as my Christmas Eve special, here is my version of  'Twas the Night Before Christmas.


Twas the hours of darkness before Yuletide, when all through the abode
Not a varmint was stirring, not even a mouse.
The pantyhose were suspended by the flue with care,
In expectation that St Nicholas would be at that location in a jiffy.

The offspring were burrowed all skintight in their futons,
While hallucinations of sugar-plums moshed in their noggins.
And the female parent in her hanky, and I in my turban,
Had just settled our cerebrums for a seemingly endless winter’s siesta.

When out on the front yard there arose such a rattle,
I vaulted from the futon to observe what was the matter.
Away to the window I traveled through the air like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and chucked up the sash.
 
 Earth's natural satellite on the breast of the new-fallen white stuff
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering peepers should become visible,
But a wee sleigh, and eight diminutive reindeer.

"Now Runner! now, Prima Ballarina! now, Skipper and Ill-tempered Woman!
On, Ball of Dust and Gas! On, God of Love! on, on Thunder and Lightening!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I perceived with my ears on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the smokestack St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in pelage, from his head to his foot,
And his threads were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his vertebral column,
And he looked like a door-to-door salesman, just opening his pack.

He was big-boned and full-figured, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not an utterance, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the hosiery, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his digit aside of his proboscis,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all traveled through the air like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Yuletide to all, and to all y'all a good-night!"